I read about this yesterday and it disturbed me as I lost a friend to suicide many years ago.
It appears I am not alone.
Well, at last the hoax is revealed - 90-Day-Jane was "a personal art piece".
Whew! I guess that is better than the alternative.
Yet, on the other hand, this kind of "emotional blackmail" sours me.
A number of years ago something similar happened.
I gave a "down-on-his luck" looking fellow who was panhandling on Whyte Ave. a fist of all my pocket change - it was all I had besides a twenty - and as I walked away I heard the "pinging" of copper pennies echoing around me. I looked back to see this fellow smirking at me as he skipped the pennies at me. He was throwing them away so he could keep the silver!
I was totally offended. He was obviously mocking me and I had been "flim-flam"ed.
Now I rarely give out cash to panhandlers on the street and sometimes challenge those who insist on approaching me with a sorry tale. I suppose it is my attempt to "shake-out" the near-do-well's from "legit" charity cases.
Yet being a "hard-a**" does not always play well.
On another very cold November night while picking up my daughter from Brownies at the church, a fellow approached me as we were getting into the car. (These guys know good "fishin-holes" - how does it look to deny a beggar in front of a church & young daughter!) He was "only asking" for $25 so he could afford to stay overnight at the YMCA for $60. It was cold so I told him to get in the car so we could talk. I was skeptical about the $60 when there were shelter's - and I offered to drive him to one - but on the way he changed his mind and just asked that I drop him off at the nearby strip-mall. I think he just decided to keep trying until he raised the cash. I have since learned that the "public shelters" are rife with gang crime, substance abusers, the mentally ill and dis-abused staff who function more like prison-guards than warm-hearted supporters. Ultimately, I believe he survived I caught a glimpse of him again that spring. Yet, did I really help him?
On still another occasion a young teen girl asked for money so "she could get some food" but was definitely less than interested when I led her into in the restaurant next door and bought her a take-out lunch. She left quickly and after consulting with her "boyfriend"resumed her campaign.
Perhaps it was such experiences that prompted me to participate in our communities "Out of the Cold" shelter project. It was a winter shelter that ran for 2 years but the NIMBY aspect eventually helped bring it down.
There is no resolution in such experiences, except that we must all learn from them.
90-Day-Jane's are in some way less harmful - but in creating "emotional fatigue" do they blind us when we are actually faced with a real "charity" situation?
